Hi everyone!
Wow. I can't believe it's been almost four months since I wrote a blog post, and after I promised you all that more entries would be coming. Work, laziness, and just life in general got the better of me since last I wrote. With everything that was going on, blogging kind of got put on the back burner, and I'm truly sorry about that. But since I have some time to myself today, I wanted to give you all a quick update about what's been going on with me.
For starters, I'm no longer twenty-four! My twenty-fifth birthday was on May 3rd, and it could not have been a better day. I got to celebrate with my co-workers, family, friends, and amazing boyfriend and indulge in some pretty spectacular Italian food and ice cream cake. This was also the first birthday I've celebrated since moving to New York City, and I'm grateful that I had a nice, relaxing day with some equally great people.
Modeling has also been going well. During March and April, I had a pretty standard work schedule. I was working one, maybe two shifts a day with a fair amount of rest in between. But when May rolled around...well, let's just say that my work schedule kept me out of the house for a while. Not only was I working every day of the week, but there was one week I worked three, sometimes four, shifts Monday through Friday. Even though I was technically working from 9am to 6:30pm (with the exception of the one day I worked from 9am to 10pm) it really took it out of me. I've said it before and I'll say it again; holding still for that long is EXHAUSTING. I guess it makes sense that my spine is still all out of whack...
That aside, though, I'm grateful to have made as much money as I did. It's a rare thing when you can save a decent amount of your paycheck as a freelancer, but it feels pretty great when you do. It also feels great when you get a good amount of time off after working your body to death! All in all, my job is pretty awesome. Today, though, I wanted to write about one of the serious downsides of working as an art model.
I mentioned that one of the things I like about my job is that it gives me plenty of time to be alone with my thoughts. Being fairly introverted, I love having the time to let my brain wander while I'm posing. I do a lot of my best thinking while I'm waiting for time to pass. In one session, I managed to rehearse a monologue, practice an aria, and write the beginnings of a TedTalk all while holding still in a chair. Getting some time to go inside my mind also helps me relax and not feel as over-stimulated by the world around me. But sadly, this isn't always the case. As much as I love getting to go inward and just think for a while, there are times when this is the last thing I want to do.
A perfect example happened earlier this year at the end of January. I had modeled earlier that day, and I was scheduled to model for the next day too. Later that night, though, I got a call from home that my pet of nineteen years, my cat Memo, wasn't doing so well. About an hour later, he passed away. I was devastated, and spent most of the night crying and waking up every hour. The next morning, I was completely drained but I still had to go into work. As much as I tried not to focus on what had happened, there was no escaping it. All I could do was think about how sad I was while trying to hold my poses. I made it through the class, but it was rough, to say the least.
I'm also sorry to say that something similar happened last week. My grandmother passed away just over a week ago, and it's been one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. I haven't had too many modeling jobs since her passing, but the ones I have had haven't been easy to get through. Sometimes I wish I did have a more fast paced job that required me to be constantly active and moving. It would definitely help distract me more from whatever my mind thinks up. I do believe it's necessary to grieve when you lose a loved one, but there comes a time when the last thing you want to do is to keep stewing in your grief. Modeling doesn't exactly help with that.
So, what do I do to keep myself from getting too wrapped up in my head? Distractions help. Whenever I have breaks, I try to read or stretch or write in my bullet journal. Anything that will engage my mind in a different way. I also try to zone in on the conversations I hear between the students and instructors. I get to learn more about art that way, and it's also a good distraction method. But when these techniques don't work, it really helps to be able to talk with my loved ones. I'm lucky that I have very loving parents that I can vent to, and a boyfriend who completely gets what it's like to be in situations like these. It doesn't always fix things, but I know I'd be much worse if I didn't have their love and support.
Speaking of which, tomorrow I'll be heading upstate to see my family for the weekend. Andy's coming too, so I'm sure it's going to be a lot of fun. Getting to have a short vacation is exactly what I need right now, especially since I'll be working most of next week. Yay...? In the meantime, I'm going to finish up some packing.
Thanks for sticking around, everyone. Hopefully it won't take me four months to write my next entry!
See you soon!
