Merry Christmas!

Hi everyone!

As I write this post, it’s 8:34pm on December 25th.  I’m sitting on a heater in my living room, looking at the beautiful tree that’s covered in lights and ornaments.  I think this is a proper time to say it:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Christmas is, without a doubt, my favorite holiday.  I can’t tell you how nice it is to be home for the holidays, and how great it was to be able to spend the day with my family.  Good food, nice presents, and lots of love and cheer.  How can it get any better than this?

Christmas is also a time to reflect on all that’s good and hopeful in the world.  Tonight, I can’t help but think about how blessed and lucky I am to have such a great family, and to have a job that brings me such joy.  That’s why I’m writing this post tonight, so that anyone I’ve worked with knows how grateful I am for what you’ve given me.  To any instructors, monitors, and other models I know that may be reading this post, thank you for making my job so fun and rewarding.  I hope that all of you have had a wonderful Christmas and enjoy the rest of your holiday season.

Now, I think it’s time for me to relax a bit before I head off to bed.  So, I’ll close out this post the best way I can:

“But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

See you soon!

Holiday Cheer

Hi everyone!

Long time, no post.  I just checked the date on my last entry, and it’s been over a month since I last wrote.  I think that’s a new record for me!  ...Yay?

These past few weeks have been crazy busy.  I’ve had a modeling session almost every day of the week since mid-November, which, as you might have guessed, left me feeling wiped out.  That, plus doing holiday activities around the city ate up a lot of my time.  As badly as I wanted to write a new post, I just didn’t feel up to it.  But I’m here now, and a new post you all shall receive!

I can’t believe there’s only four more days left until Christmas.  Time never seemed to move this fast when I was a kid.  I still have some holiday shopping to do, and I also have to cleaning and pack before I head back to Oneonta this Sunday.  I admit, I am a little stressed.  But I’m also really excited that I’ll get to be home for the holidays.  I can’t wait to have some downtime and to be with my family again.

While I’m waiting, though, I have to say that the past few days have been particularly good.  I got to go to the American Museum of Natural History on Tuesday, saw the New York City Ballet’s production of “The Nutcracker” on Wednesday, and went to a party last night with cast members of a show I did a year ago.  All of these experiences were wonderful, and have definitely bucked up my spirits.  I've also been listening to plenty of Christmas music, which never fails to make me smile.

As great as the past few days have been though, I have to admit that there have been some bumps along the way.  I've had a few days where I've felt less that stellar, both physically and emotionally.  I guess that's to be expected when you spend the majority of your day in an art pose.  I don't think this has negatively impacted my work performance, but I know it also hasn't helped.  There have been times over the past few days where the last thing I wanted to do was hold still for twenty minutes at a time for three hours.  It's not that I dislike my job, but I've said it before and I'll say it again.  No matter how much you love your occupation, there will always be days where the work you're doing will feel more like "work" instead of fun.  That's normal, but it can still get to you.

But if there's one good thing about feeling this way, it's knowing that the students and the monitors have your back.  After my modeling sessions finished yesterday, I got to go to two holiday parties in the studios.  There was a lot of food and drinks, and I got the chance to talk with some of the students.  Everyone was very kind and gave me plenty of compliments on my modeling, and I got to learn more about their lives too.  I had a really nice time, and getting to relax a bit with this group of people helped me feel more positive.  Perfect timing for holidays too!

So that's my holiday cheer message.  Things are good here, and I'm looking for to finishing this week and celebrating Christmas soon.  Until then, I'm going to relax some more tonight.  There's a bowl of popcorn and a copy of the movie "Eloise at Christmastime" calling my name!

See you soon!

Objects and Space

Hi everyone!

Before I begin, I have to take a second to say something...

I'M BACK HOME FOR THANKSGIVING BREAK!!!

I arrived yesterday afternoon after a long train ride from the city.  As I write this post, I'm currently sitting on the couch in my living room with a warm blanket wrapped around my legs.  A rerun of "Chopped" is on, and my cat is in the other room, waiting for me to come play with him.  I couldn't be happier that this is how my night is going.  It's such a great feeling knowing that I'll be back in upstate New York for the rest of the week, and that I'll get some time to relax and be with my family.

Taking some time off to recharge is exactly what I need right now, considering this past week in the city was CRAZY!  I did two substitute teaching jobs, an audition, and modeled every single day before I came home.  I'm sore in places I didn't know could get sore, and my energy is at an all time low.  But in spite of this, I'm happy with everything that happened during my modeling sessions this past week.

If there's one thing I've learned over the past few days, it's that when you model seven days in a row, it can be hard to come up with different poses each time you're at work.  For example, I was in a class this past week which met Monday through Friday.  While the total number of students did change from night to night, most of the same pupils showed up for each session.  Since I had a lot of the same people drawing me each time I modeled, I didn't want to get stuck in the pattern of doing the same poses each time I was on the stand.  How did I solve this dilemma?  By using some things I like to call "objects and space" in my poses.  (See what I did there?)

Before each class started, the instructor brought out a few things that I could use in my poses.  Chairs, stools, and a long, wooden rod were among the object present.  The first few nights I modeled, I didn't use any of these things in my poses, mostly because I had no idea what to do with them.  In the past, I've felt more comfortable just posing with my body, because I tend have a better sense of how to position myself when I don't have to worry about using an object in a creative way.

But as the week went on, I started to wonder more about using the props in my poses.  I also was reminded of all the theatre classes I'd taken in the past.  Exercises where I had to use props in a new and creative way came to mind.  Think of the "Props" segment on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" only much more still and much less raunchy.  So, I decided to take a chance one night and use one of the objects I'd been given.

Turns out this was something I should have done a long time ago, because I had a lot of fun figuring out how to use the props I had in my poses.  The first thing I grabbed was the long wooden rod.  I slung my arms over it and tilted to the side a bit, kind of like a scarecrow.  After that, my imagination went wild and I used the rod as a bunch of different things.  A baseball bat, a broom, a fishing rod, and even a javelin.  I found out pretty fast that only did this make my poses more interesting, but it helped me focus my mind in a new way.  As I posed, I started to think up stories based on the positions I was in.  For example, the "broom pose" inspired a Cinderella-esque story about a poor, young maiden living in the Renaissance era, trying to clean her home.  Not only did this make the time go by faster, but it also made me feel like I was back in those theatre classes again.  If you know me, you probably know just how happy this made me feel.

I also modeled in another class this week where I was instructed to use the wall behind me in my shorter poses.  To be honest, I went a little wild with this direction.  I ended up doing things like clawing the wall, extending and pressing my arms into it, and wrapping myself around the corners.  I felt very much like the woman in "The Yellow Wallpaper."

"I've gotten out at last,...in spite of you and Jane?"

Needless to say, I had a lot of fun with these poses.  Getting to use my acting abilities while I modeled was tons of fun.  I can only hope that I'll get to do something like this again sometime soon. Who knows?  Maybe I'll write down one of the stories that runs through my head and post it on here.

Now that my work week is over, though, I'm soaking up every moment of rest I have before I return to the city.  Hopefully this will help me get over the cold I caught over the weekend.  That, taking naps, and eating plenty of Thanksgiving food with my family sound like the perfect cure!  Don't you agree?

See you soon!

On Posing Nude

Hi everyone!

Fair warning before you keep reading; the following post gets a little ranty.

When I tell people I'm an art model, I tend to get a lot of questions about what my job entails.  Sometimes, I get asked about how long I've been modeling for, how much my job pays, or how I got started with modeling in the first place. But the number one question that always seems to pop up when I mention I’m an art model is this:

"Do you pose nude?"

After I confirm that I do often pose nude, this is usually followed by a series of other questions:

“What’s it like to pose naked?”
“Is it weird?”
“Do you ever feel uncomfortable?”
“Do you ever feel objectified or unsafe?”

I know I've touched on this in previous posts, but I figured it was high time I tackled this topic in depth.

If I can be one hundred percent honest here, the question of "Do you pose nude?" tends to get a little old.  I get it though.  There aren't too many professions where being naked for extend periods of time is a large part of the job.  I don't mind it when people ask me about what it's like.  Really, I don’t. I know I had the same questions running through my mind before I became an art model, and I’m happy to offer my input.  It's just that I would rather have people ask me questions like:

"How do you stay still for twenty minutes at a time?”
“Do you do anything special to maintain your physical strength for modeling?  
“Do you have any funny or interesting stories from a modeling session?"

I personally feel like those kind of questions are more fun and interesting to answer rather than "Do you pose nude?"   But, as promised, I am going to talk about what that’s like.

Remember in my last post I mentioned how art modeling has helped me feel more confident about myself, and how that applies to the performing world?  Well, the inverse is true as well.  Granted, I’ve never done a show where I’ve had to be onstage naked.  But I have done plenty of live performances for large crowds where I’ve worn skin tight, revealing clothing.  I think this helped me get into the right mindset and developed the confidence I needed before I started booking modeling sessions.

I’ve also said this before, but I’ll say it again.  Most of the time when I model, I don't even think about the fact that I’m posing nude for a bunch of people.  Sometimes, I even forget that I’m not wearing anything because I’m more focused on holding the pose I’m in.  The only times I really think about being disrobed is right when I take off my robe (see what I did there?) and right when I put it on.  After that, it’s all about the work.  Posing nude is just a part of my job, like how politicians speak in front of crowds or how scientists mix chemicals.  I just do it and don’t think about it too much.

This brings me to another point I’d like to make.  I have never felt objectified or unsafe in any of my modeling sessions.  Quite the opposite, actually.  All the instructors I’ve worked with have not only been professional, but also very kind and considerate.  Whenever I model, the instructor always makes it clear that my safety and level of comfort are paramount.  Sometimes, the instructors will offer to give me padding (mats and blankets) to make my poses less physically taxing, or offer to turn on a fan or heater if the room’s temperature isn’t quite right.  The instructors I’ve worked with also always give a heads up if they need to tape out my pose before getting close to me.

I think I should also say that instructors don’t touch their models.  If an adjustment needs to be made, they’ll tell the model something like “Bring your arm in more” or “Move you right foot back a little.”  The model makes changes from their, adjusting their pose depending on what the class needs.  Speaking of which, all the students I’ve worked with have been great, too.  No one that has painted, drawn, or sculpted me has made me feel uncomfortable or unsafe.  The students are just as professional as the teachers, and both parties are equally nice and supportive.  Most of them have been more than willing to show me their work to me, which I always love seeing.  No one has ever made a crass comment to me, and I always feel a personal sense of ease when I'm working.

Finally, I want to bring up one last point.  I know that when it comes to nudity, our minds tend to jump towards the sexual realm.  And you know what?  That’s perfectly okay and normal.  We’re all humans, we all have eyes and a brain, and we’re all capable of feeling arousal when we see a naked body.  But along with the many life lessons I’ve learned from art modeling, I’ve also learned that nudity doesn’t always equate to being sexual.

There are plenty of famous works of art that feature a complete nude subject (Michelangelo's David or Botticelli's The Birth of Venus, for example.)  In those works, the naked body isn't depicted as something erotic or vulgar.  It's shown as something to be celebrated and revered.  And that's just it.  The main purpose of an art model is to help artists understand the physical makeup of the human body.  When an artist sees an unclothed body, it makes it easier to understand the human anatomy and capture it in their work.  I feel more than happy to help contribute to this process.

So there you have it.  I hope this helped clear up any questions you might have had about this subject.  As always, if you have any other questions you'd like to ask me, please don't hesitate to leave a comment below!

See you soon!

A Life Lesson from Art Modeling

Hi everyone!

Today's entry is a bit different from my usual posts.  Instead of telling you all about my most recent modeling endeavor, I want to take a second and write about something I've been mulling over the past few weeks.  To be honest, this post took me a longer time to write than I originally expected.  I struggled to find the words I wanted to use to express my feelings about this topic.  After a lot of soul searching, though, I think I've found the right ones.  But before I write more about today's topic, I want to share a story with all of you.

When I was in high school, I remember trying to write a poem about wanting to be a painting.  It started out fine enough.  I wrote sentences about being "immortalized on canvas" and all the other dramatic words and phrases I could think of.  But being the emotional and somewhat angsty teenager I was, the poem took a dark turn.  I went on to say that "harsh is the reality I see in the mirror" and that "I'll never be a painting."  To summarize:

"I feel ugly and need a hug because I'm an emotional sixteen year old girl."  

I can laugh about it now, but at the time, this would have been anything but funny to me.

Like a lot of people, I've struggled with my self image.  I'd also be lying if I said that being in the performing world didn't play a part in this.  As much as I love being an actress and want to keep doing theatre for the rest of my life, there's a harsh truth every performer learns when they start trying to make a career out of their passion.  That harsh truth would be that how you physically look plays a huge part in whether or not you get hired, sometimes even more that your talent.

One of the biggest issues I've had over my appearance is my height.  I'm five feet tall, but some days, I feel even shorter than that.  It's not just a matter of people making short jokes or using me as a human arm rest (although this is plenty annoying.)  If there's one thing I've learned about being a short woman, it's that people often mistake you for being much younger than you actually are.  You wouldn't think this would be much of an issue, but it is.  I can't tell you the number of times I've felt like someone treated me like a child because I didn't "look old enough" to be a young adult.  It gets frustrating pretty fast, not to mention a little more that degrading.

But the "perks" of being short don't end there.  I know deep in my heart that I am not fat.  Really, I do.  I know have a lot of physical strength from doing taking dance classes, doing Pilates, and practicing yoga over the years, particularly in my legs.  However, a lot of my friends who are five foot two or shorter will agree with me when I say this.  Being smaller in stature tends to create a stockier look as you gain muscle, especially in the lower body area, which creates the illusion of being overweight.  I can't tell you how many times I've looked at my lower stomach or legs in the mirror and thought how big and chubby they were, sometimes to the point of tears.

It's not just my height, though, that I'm insecure about.  When I was younger, I couldn't stand my curly hair.  I hated how frizzy it was and how I felt like I couldn't style it any attractive ways.  But after I straightened it for the first time, I started getting a lot of compliments about how pretty it looked, some of which came from previous bullies.  So, I started straightening my hair as much as I could, sometimes getting up before 5am to style it.  This went on for a few years...until I realized how damaged my hair was getting.  I eventually learned how to style my curls so my hair wouldn't look like a tumbleweed, but I still had (and still have) my deep insecurities about it.

Lastly, I've never felt confident about my skin.  I think I've experienced every kind of acne known to man.  Pimples, whiteheads, blackheads, cysts.  You name it, I've had it.  I remember getting bullied so frequently for this during my teenage years that I felt like more people were staring at my acne than looking at my face.  It got to the point where I decided no to maintain eye contact with anyone I talked to.  That way, I could make sure that no one could stare at my acne and find cause to make fun of me.  To this day, I still have trouble making eye contact with people for this very same reason.

With all that said, it’s more than a little ironic that I’m now in a line of work that focuses so much on physical appearance.  But here’s the thing; art modeling isn’t just about “looking good.”  It’s not about being stick thin, having your hair and makeup perfectly done, or strutting down a runway.  It’s also not about trying to create an ideal image for everyone to see.

Art modeling is about being creative and inventive in each pose you do.  It’s about being physically and mentally strong enough to be still for up to twenty minutes at a time.  It’s about figuring out what your body is capable of, accepting your limits, and utilizing your strengths.  And most importantly, it’s about understanding that people will see you in a thousand different ways, no matter how you
spin it.

I remember after my very first modeling, I was nervous to look at the drawings the students had done.  My fears of looking fat and ugly were strong, but my feelings of curiousity were stronger.  So I mustered up the courage to see their work...and was completely taken aback by what I saw.  Instead of looking like an awkward, chubby girl like I feared, my body looked graceful and womanly.  All of my “problem areas” didn’t seem problematic at all.  In fact, I barely even noticed them.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  I walked out of the class feeling more beautiful and confident than I had felt in a long time.

I wish I could say that this experience made all my insecurities go away, and that every time I looked at another drawing or painting of me, I felt the same sense of joy and confidence.  But the truth is, it didn’t.  I still have plenty of days where I feel like my sixteen year old self again and the last thing I want to do is look in the mirror.  I also have moments where I see a student’s artwork of me and have thoughts like “Do I really look that fat and ugly?” (Through no fault of their own, mind you.)

But then there are moments when I’m in a modeling session and I receive a compliment from the students or instructor about my appearance.  Compliments like:

"Look at her hair.  It reminds me of a Roman goddess."
"You have such an interesting face to draw."
"You're so beautiful, and you're a great model."

It's these compliments that make me realize that the parts of myself I don't necessarily like are what make me interesting as an art model.  It's also these compliments that remind me that I'm good at what I do.  Yes, because I'm a hard worker, have creative ideas about how to pose, and can hold still for a long time.  But also because I am me, and all that entails.  And that makes it all worth it in the end.

I firmly believe that self-love and confidence are journeys, rather than destinations.  I also firmly believe that they're not easy journeys to go on, and that they're often filled with doubt and disappointment.  But the beautiful thing about that is for every bullying remark or hurtful comment, there's also kind words and a heartfelt compliment to match them.  Being an art model has taught me that.  It's also taught me to be braver and more secure in my body, even if I don't always feel that way.

And finally, it's taught me that I can be a painting (and a drawing, and a sculpture.). And that all of works of art, flaws and all, can be captivating and beautiful.  <3

See you soon!

Emotions, Emotions

Hi everyone!

It’s official; fall has come to New York City.  How do I know this?  It is because of the changing foliage, the Halloween displays on the steps of apartment buildings, or the copious amounts of people drinking pumpkin spice lattes?  No.  I know it’s fall because for the first time in months, I’ve had to wear a sweater and a coat each time I go outside.  Case in point, it was 44 degrees outside yesterday, and the highest temperature of the day was only 51 degrees.  But I’m not complaining.  I’d much rather it be chilly than grossly humid!

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get to what you all came here for.  I modeled in a class on Sunday that was undeniable one of the most fun modeling experiences I’ve ever had.  In many ways, I almost feel like it was more like an acting class than a modeling session.  Before the class officially began, the instructor took a moment to talk to the class about how different poses can convey different emotions.  He drew some quick sketches and pointed out the emotional impact each one had.  As he spoke, I kept thinking "Me, an actress, doing poses that are all emotionally driven and meant to represent strong feelings?  This is going to be great!" And great it was.

I've mentioned before that I prefer doing sessions that start with shorter poses.  Well, this class was nothing but short poses.  I started off by doing a series of poses that were only thirty seconds long.  Admittedly, I got a little crazy with these.  I balanced on one leg a few times, did a downward dog, and even did a standing pose while bending backwards.  Not only was this a fun way to explore what my body could do, but it really forced me to think on my feet as I changed positions.  Following a pattern of "pose, change, pose" thirty seconds at a time for twenty minutes was both a physical and mental challenge, and I loved every minute of it.

After these short poses, the instructor did something that was really interesting.  Instead of just asking me to find different postures for the remainder of the class, he provided some direction for me.  When I got back on the stand, he named an emotion for me to portray.  He used words like "joyful," "anguished," and "terrified" to help guide my poses.  This is where the session reminded me of my high school and college acting classes.  I thought about all the times directors or teachers would try exercises with their students that were meant to help us emote and show different feelings.  Flashback indeed!  To help the class and me to better capture the emotion he wanted, he also played a variety of music, ranging from Bob Marley to Evanesence to The Rocky Horror Picture Show ("Let's do the Time Warp again!!!")

I also learned a lot about how emotions really do affect your body's energy.  I found that it was much harder to hold the "sad" and "angry" poses, as opposed to the "happy"and "excited" ones.  You try furrowing your brow or standing hunched over with your mouth wide open for two minutes.  Trust me, you'll feel the tension sooner than you'd think.  I had never really bought into the idea that holding your body with a more positive energy could make you feel physically lighter.  But now that I've actually experience it for myself, I think I'm going to try harder to carry myself in a more uplifted way.

The class ended with an exploration of movement.  I did a series of poses for one minute each that emphasized different ways the body could move.  I did some walking gestures, seated to standing poses, and I even got to swing an imaginary baseball bat.  (Shout out to my dad for teaching me how to do this when I was a kid!)  I walked out feeling happy and recharged, which is always a great way to feel once a class ends.

With that, I think it's time for me to get some rest.  Thanks for sticking around, and be on the lookout for more posts from me.  I have something big planned for my next entry.

See you soon!

The Art of the Dress

Hi everyone!

Before I get into the topic of today's post, I want to take a quick second and mention something.  Last night, I modeled at a new school for the first time.  The class was pretty standard.  Short poses to longer poses, breaks in between, etc.  The instructor and the students were all very nice, and I had a great time.  I may write a post about this experience in the future, but for now, I just wanted to put this information on there!  Now, back on track.

Remember how I mentioned that art models don’t always pose nude?  And remember how I mentioned that sometimes, my sessions are six hours long instead of three?  Well, that's what happened today.  Today was the first time I posed clothed in a class for more than three hours.

I have to admit, I was pretty excited when I first got the email asking me to do this booking.  I was told to bring "a few interesting tops (street clothes or costumes)...for the instructor to choose from."  I  decided to wear a long black dress with a floral pattern, as well as my favorite pair of brown lace up boots.  It was an outfit that not only looked interesting, but that I was more than comfortable in.  An important factor, considering I was going to be working for twice as long as I normally do.

As soon as I arrived at the booking, I knew that I was going to have fun.  The students were all incredibly kind and welcoming, as was the instructor.  One of the students even came up to me before the class began and said that he was happy that I was there.  That made me feel great, even before I got on the modeling stand.  When the class did start, the instructor had the students gather around him and took out a book of paintings by the French-Polish artist Balthus.  He talked a lot about how Balthus often painted his models in natural postures (e.g. standing up straight, seated in a chair, etc.,) but that there was usually something "off" about the pose itself.  For example, he presented a painting that had the model standing erect, but with her shoulders slightly titled to the right.  He also showed some other Balthus works that did this, in order to give the students some inspiration for their own paintings.

When something like this happens, the model for the class isn't technically required to sit and listen with the students.  But I always like to do this anyway.  I not only think it's interesting, but I've found that having the same information the students do makes my modeling that much better.  Understanding what the students are trying to achieve in their works, and how I as the model can help them achieve that makes my sessions so much more gratifying and fun.

The pose for this class was fairly basic.  I sat in a chair with my legs crossed and my hand resting on my knee.  Nothing too extreme.  But like my other six hour session, I held this one pose for the entirety of the class.  I suspected that my legs would get stiff and numb, but I didn't think my arms would too, especially since I wasn't doing anything crazy with them.  I guess that'll happen though when you're trying to sit completely still for twenty minutes at a time.  It wasn't the best feeling, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.

After a few hours of posing, everyone got a thirty-five minute lunch break.  Normally when this happens, a lot the students leave the classroom to go eat outside or at nearby restaurants.  Today, though, the students and instructor set up a table and invited me to eat with them.  The instructor asked me about what I do outside of art modeling, and I told everyone about being an actress.  I found out that one of the students also graduated from Ithaca College, much to my delight!  Before we were all done eating, I decided to ask the class about what they thought makes a good art model.  Their response was simple; a good art model is someone that holds still.

I know that sounds like an obvious answer, but their reasonings made a lot of sense.  While you're certainly allowed to shake out any stiff or numb muscles in a session, some models forget that it's important not to completely lose the pose.  It makes the students' jobs a lot harder when this happens, and it gets frustrating if this occurs constantly in the class.  Apparently, a lot of the students had been in other classes where this happened.  As you might have guessed, this isn't advisable behavior for an art model.  It's definitely not "model behavior!"  Ba dum, sshh!

I was happy to know, though, that the students thought I did a great job this session.  A lot of them gave me compliments about my focus, and told me that I had a great face and hair for modeling.  Their kind words boosted my confidence so much, and I loved getting to see their final paintings at the end of class.  All of them were, as usual, beautiful to look at it.  I even got up the courage to ask them if I could take a few pictures of their work, and they agreed!  I would share their paintings here...but I didn't ask the students if they'd be okay with me sharing their work on social media.  I wouldn't feel comfortable posting the pictures without their permission, so I won't be showing any of them in this post.  But I don't want you to get too disheartened.  The great thing about this class is that I'll be posing in it again next week.  Maybe by then I'll have mustered the courage to ask them about sharing their artwork online.  Either way, I had such a positive experience at work today, and I'll really looking forward to coming back!  I've said it before, but I'll say it again; I love my job so much!!!

That's it for me tonight.  I'm off to watch some more YouTube videos before I hit the hay.  Here's hoping my internal clock decides not to wake me up at 6am tomorrow.  :P

See you soon!